


Say You Love Me

by TuckerPuppy (HarleyD)



Category: Misfits
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Bottom Simon, Cause duh., Cause of the tattoo, Confused Simon, Confused post tattoo Nathan, Dubious Consent, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings, Language, M/M, Mild Teasing, Oral Sex, Sex, Shy Simon, Top Nathan, gratuitous tags, m/m - Freeform, mild D/s if you squint, tattoo made me do it sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-08-09 21:49:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7818550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HarleyD/pseuds/TuckerPuppy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nathan has never failed at getting Simon to do what he wants.  Simon is needy, and so desperate to be accepted that he would do pretty much anything.  Especially if it involves Nathan telling him he loves him.</p><p>Takes place during season 2, episode 3 when Nathan gets the tattoo that makes him love Simon.</p><p>** Or where Nathan is much smoother and way better at getting Simon to do what he wants than happened in the show.  They have feelings for each other, and even if it takes a magical tattoo to force them to acknowledge it, they will get there.  Some dialogue straight from the show.</p><p>Dubious consent because Nathan is under the influence of a tattoo, and Simon is pretty susceptible to do anything if it means making friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

            “I thought we were going to a bar to watch wrestling.”  Nathan looked at him and he winced, worried that he would tell him to leave.  Why did he open his mouth, he was just happy the other boy wanted to spend time with him. Just him even, but he always ruined everything.  His hand clenched around his beer.

            “Nah, who wants to go a bar when we have everything we need here.”  Simon eyed the space cautiously before he looked back to Nathan.  Something wasn’t right, and his stomach knotted up, maybe the other boy just didn’t want to be seen with him.  That had to be it.  Maybe he should just leave, Nathan was probably just taking the piss out of him anyways. “Come on, make yourself comfortable, take off your jacket. Relax.”

            Even knowing that it was probably a setup, that it would just be one more thing that Nathan would embarrass him about, he moved at the suggestion, pulling off his coat.  Okay, even if Nathan didn’t want to be seen with him that was okay, it was nice to just not be alone at all.

            “So this is pretty cool huh, a couple of good looking young fellas, a couple beers.  This is good times.  Why don’t I put some music on?”

            Simon gave him a sideways look, and when Nathan leaned over him to grab the music controls he leaned back, biting his lip.  He was uncomfortable, but he wasn’t sure exactly why.  Nathan only grabbed what he needed and sat back, looking through to see what he wanted to play.  The music started and behind him he could sense Nathan moving, dancing.  He glanced back, and found his mouth dry because something just seemed off.

            Quickly he took another sip of the beer in his hand, hoping it would calm him down and he could spend time with his friend without making an idiot out of himself.   He gripped the beer and tried to think of something to say.

            “Not much for dancing?”

            He looked up at Nathan, swallowing down his nervousness at how big the other boy looked from this angle while he was still sitting on the floor.  He shrugged his shoulders, choosing to gulp at his beer instead of answering.  Nathan grinned at him and after a few more shakes of his hips that made Simon’s eyes drift to where they shouldn’t be, Nathan slid back to his place on the floor besides him.  Though it seemed a little closer than he had been.      

            He leaned in and Simon felt his hand tighten on the can, worried about what he was going to say next.  “I want to know everything there is to know about you.”

            “Like what?”  His fingers traced over the moisture on the can and he darted a look at Nathan.  He had never really asked him anything, the most interest he had showed him was when he had mentioned a sister and that should have meant something but he was too distracted by the close proximity.

            “Anything.”

            He struggled to think of anything that Nathan would find interesting, and found himself coming up blank.  He finally struggled to say anything and said the first thing that came to mind.  “I just bought the battlestar galactica dvd box set.”  Inside he cringed, knowing that Nathan was sure to make fun of him for that answer, but he didn’t even seem to notice.

            “Tell me about your first sexual experience...do you want to hear about mine?”  Simon had barely managed to respond to the first question, and now he was certain that Nathan was taking the piss with him because he knew that Simon had no experience, and all he managed was a shake of his head to hearing about Nathan’s.

It didn’t matter, of course, as Nathan was already talking.  “It was a family camping holiday and one of my mum’s friends came with us and one night I felt her hand sliding into my sleeping bag like a warm friendly snake...”  Nathan pretended to hiss in his face and he jerked back but before he could move Nathan’s hand was on his leg, acting out the story he was telling. “She grabbed my cock and started wanking me off.  She had lovely little hands like a midget’s.”

            It was so much touching, and Simon wasn’t used to it and he tried to push his hand off, his voice panicked.  “Your hand is on my leg...”

            “shh..”  Nathan’s hand moved up to his mouth and he leaned in, pressing their lips together.  Simon knew he should do something, anything, but he was frozen to the spot.  Nathan seemed to take that as an invitation and pressed in again, mouth open as he forced his tongue into Simon’s mouth, trying to pull him closer.

            Simon jerked back, hand going to his mouth as he stared at Nathan.  He scrambled to his feet and backed away,  “What are you doing?”

            “You have no idea how much I’ve always wanted to do that, feel my heart, its racing.  It’s okay, it’s okay, I’ll be gentle, why don’t we slip your trousers off.”  Nathan was on his feet in front of him and he wasn’t sure what to do.  Hands were going for the button on his pants but he struggled to push them away.

Nathan only seemed excited by the struggle and grabbed tight onto Simon’s shirt so he couldn’t move away and pressed close, stilling Simon in his struggle with the tight grip.  We don’t have to fight any longer.” He nuzzled against Simon’s neck, “We’ll go slow,” pressing against him until he took a few uncertain steps backwards and his back pressed against the wall.

Nathan didn’t waste any time pressing tight up against him.  Simon tried to push him back but Nathan grabbed his wrists and gently pressed them against the wall.

            Everything he had done had been gentle, and Simon felt a whine building at the back of his throat because he didn’t know what to do, he didn’t want to do this but he couldn’t stop leaning into Nathan’s touch, not when he was being touched with such care.

            “Nathan-”

            “Shh.”  Nathan leaned forward and lips were on his again, and he kept his lips tightly pressed together but didn’t do anything else to stop him.

            Nathan pulled back and looked a little annoyed and Simon couldn’t help looking away, guilty about upsetting him.  Nathan eyed him for a moment before he muttered, “Don’t move.”  He let go of his wrists and wrapped his hands in Simon’s hair instead, gripping it tight as he tilted his head back.

            The pain made him gasp and Nathan’s mouth was back on him, his tongue slipping in and Simon anxiously shifted his weight but didn’t move his hands from where he had been told to stay.  At that Nathan hummed in a way that sounded pleased and then Nathan’s knee was pressing against his thighs, working its way in until it was seated firmly between Simon’s legs.

            When Nathan finally pulled back from the kiss Simon gasped, turning his head away.  He wasn’t gay, he didn’t like guys like that, but there was a leg rubbing against him and he had never been kissed by anyone like that before, and he was ashamed that he was hard.

            As if reading his mind Nathan’s hand moved down to cup him through his pants, just a light rubbing of his palm and Simon whined, hips stuttering.  “Please stop.”

            “You don’t want me to stop.”  Nathan reached one hand up to the button on Simon’s trousers, popping it open, and it was enough to kick Simon into gear. 

            He shoved Nathan back, trying not to hurt him but definitely trying to get away.  He didn’t know what had gotten in to the other but he was starting to think that maybe he wasn’t winding him up.  He tried to make a dash for the stairs and was almost there when Nathan grabbed his arm, spinning him around.  “Hey!”

            “Why are you doing this?”

            “I love you.”  Nathan said it like it was the simplest thing in the world, like Simon was a moron for not understanding it.

            “You don’t even like me.”  He was still trying to ease away but Nathan had wrapped his hand around Simon’s wrist and was tugging him back towards the mattress.

            “Why would you think that?”  When Simon continued to resist Nathan tugged a bit harder, and Simon stumbled forward.  He was so out of his league of what he should do, of understanding what was happening that he was slow to move.

            “You call me names and-”  
            “Out of love.”  They had reached the mattress and Nathan’s grip tightened hard enough to bruise. 

            “I need to leave.”

            “Why would you leave, I thought we were bonding.”  He slid up close to Simon and tilted his head until he could meet his eyes and his voice was low, “We’re friends aren’t we?”

            Simon’s head jerked up at that, searching Nathan’s face even as his body relaxed a little, was more pliant in Nathan’s grip.  “We are?”

            “Of course we are.  What kind of friend would you be if you left when I still wanted to see you?”

            Simon’s eyes darted around the makeshift bedroom and he stuttered out, “Fr-friends don’t kiss.”

            “How would you know?”

            There was a sharp edge to the words that made Simon look away, a blush rising up his cheeks.  “I didn’t m-mean...”

            “Let me show you.”  Nathan was kissing him again and he let his mouth fall open so Nathan could deepen it without much thought, and when Nathan’s hands tangled in his hair he found his hands hesitantly reaching out to rest on Nathan’s hips.

            At the touch Nathan moved them, pushing towards the mattress, and when Simon’s feet hit it he tripped, tumbling backwards.   He let out an oomph when he hit it, it wasn’t very thick and it knocked the wind out of him.  He barely had time to catch his breath when Nathan was on top of him, kneeling between his legs.  Instinctually he shifted his legs farther apart to give Nathan room to settle and he was flashed a grin.

            Nathan’s mouth was back on his, a little rougher and he opened his mouth under the force.  There was a sharp bite at his lip and his hands rose automatically, but Nathan’s hands grabbed his wrists and pushed them back against the mattress.

            Nathan was on top of him, and Simon felt overwhelmed.  Nathan wasn’t as stocky as him, but he was taller and he felt held down.

            “Nathan...”

            A mouth was over his before he could even get the full name out and again he opened his mouth for him, torn between wanting to stop him and not wanting to make him mad.  No, it was more than just that.  It felt good to be touched, to be wanted and he had never considered being attracted to guys though he had noticed that Matt was-

            “Hey.” Nathan’s fingers grabbed his jaw and held it tight, “Am I not keeping your attention?”

            “Sorry.”  When he shifted again he felt Nathan’s dick hard through his pants, and he couldn’t help the moan as he ground up against him. 

            Nathan grinned against his mouth and then ground down, moving to suck on the skin on the side of Simon’s neck, worrying it with his teeth.

            When Nathan let go of his writs he raised his hands to push Nathan away but instead he found himself grabbing onto his shirt awkwardly trying to keep him there.

            “See?”  Nathan sounded a little short on breath, but confident, “You want it too.”

            Simon had words for that, a denial for sure, but Nathan sat up at that moment and Simon’s trousers were undone.   Nathan’s hand was down his pants and the words disappeared into a needy moan.

            All thoughts of stopping him, of stopping what was going on fled from his brain and all he could do was whimper and press his hips up, that warm hand sliding over him and he already felt like he was close to cumming.

            The friction was gone suddenly and he couldn’t help the mewl of disappoint, though after long seconds with nothing happening he looked up to Nathan and struggled to find the words, “You ... you stopped?”

            “I didn’t want you to cum before we got started.”  Nathan leaned down to mouth against his neck, wet and hot.  He sucked hard long enough that Simon was sure there would be a hickey there, and he shouldn’t want that but he did.  Oh, he did.

            When Nathan pulled back Simon was finally too far gone to worry and grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him back down, his mouth clumsily finding his and he tried to do what the other had done.  Tried to slide his tongue in the other’s mouth, and stroke at it in the same way that had make him weak kneed but he was inexperienced and whined in frustration at not being able to mimic him.  Nathan finally pulled away and a hand was in Simon’s hair, stroking it gently.

            “Hey, relax Simon.”  There was a quick peck of lips against him, “There is no need to rush, we have all night.”  His voice slid deeper, thick with lust, “I’ll teach you, don’t worry.”

            Simon’s shirt was being tugged off and he raised his arms to let it happen, and sat up on his elbows to watch Nathan as he pulled off his socks and then was tugging down his pants.

            “Wait.”  Simon didn’t recognize the voice as his own, too breathy, and for a moment something dark flashed over Nathan’s face.

            “Are you still trying to say you don’t want this?”

            At the back of his mind there was something there, he may not have done this before but Nathan being annoyed at him didn’t seem right, and he moved quickly to make sure Nathan wasn’t mad.  “No...”  He licked his lips as Nathan took that as the go ahead to pull off his pants, leaving him in just boxers.  He had to speak now, “I just... are you going to take your clothes off?”

            The darkness slid off Nathan’s face instantly and he grinned, “You want to see the goods, huh?”

            He didn’t wait for an answer as he pulled off his own shirt and then his pants, and Simon was startled when he realized that the other wasn’t wearing any underwear, and suddenly Nathan was completely naked in front of him.

            “Oh.”

            Nathan straddled him, clearly not ashamed at all of his body, which really Simon already knew.  He reached out hesitantly like he was going to touch, but blushed and pulled his hand back, not sure what he was allowed to do.  “I want to...”  He trailed off, and he was sure his face couldn’t get any more red.

            “What do you want to do Simon?”

            His voice was seductive and warm and Simon found some of his nervousness easing away.  “Can I touch you?”

            “Oh yea.”  When Simon still didn’t move he grabbed his hand and pulled it towards him.  Knowing Nathan he expected him to direct the touch to his cock, but instead he brought Simon’s hand to his chest, pressing it against him over his heart.  “Do you feel my heart racing Simon?  Do you know how badly I want you?”

            In only boxers there was no way to hide the way the words affected him, to hear that someone wanted him and he looked away shyly.  Nathan turned his head back towards him and the look on his face was familiar, “Come on weird kid.  I got you naked in my place, what more do you need?”

            The nickname, even if it was supposed to be an insult, was comforting and he let his hand move across Nathan’s chest and down to his stomach, before glancing up nervously at him.  Nathan was only holding still, watching him with a smile, and he finally moved his hand farther down.  His fingers trailed through pubic hair and then were touching another boy’s cock.  It felt the same and different all at once.  At first he trailed his fingers lightly up the underside, but encouraged by the sound that Nathan made he closed his fist around his cock, stroking up and down a few times like he would do to himself.

            “See?  I knew you’d catch on.”

            He only touched him for a few more moments before Nathan moved, forcing him to let go.  He thought maybe he had done something wrong but Nathan was only leaning back to grab his boxers, pulling them off and Simon had to fight the urge to cover himself.

            “Look at you.”  Nathan was over him in an instant, kissing him, and Simon barely noticed because it put their cocks together, Nathan’s hard flesh rubbing against his own and he thrust his hips up, desperate to get more friction.  

            When their mouths pulled apart he could only get his mind around one word, “Please?”

            “Oh yea, Simon.”  Nathan was grabbing his legs and pressing them back and up and he obediently bent his knees, his feet out wide, leaving him splayed out with Nathan settled between his knees.  Nathan reached for something behind him and Simon registered that it was lube a moment before he realized what Nathan intended on doing.

            “Wait!”

            Nathan raised an eyebrow at him but didn’t stop was he was doing, coating his fingers with lube, “What?”

            “You’re going to...”  The words couldn’t make it out of his mouth, too embarrassed.  Doubt started to filter through his mind and he felt himself inching back, “I’m not sure that I want to do _that._ ”

            Nathan noticed the movement and grabbed his legs, giving him a hard yank until he was settled back against him.  “It will be good.  You’ll like it.”

            “But-”

            “Shh.  Which of us has the experience here?”  The sharp tone made Simon shut down a little and he stopped trying to move away.  Nathan seemed pleased with the response, “Just relax.  I love you, I’m not going to hurt you.”

            Already Simon was shaking his head, “You don’t love me.”  He was uncomfortable and wanted to pull his legs together, to do anything to not be in such a vulnerable situation but Nathan was between his legs, keeping them open. 

            “I do, just relax Simon.  This will be good.”

            He wasn’t sure he believed him, but it was hard not to do as he was told when Nathan talked to him like that.  He knew that he was a bit more of a follower, especially where Nathan was concerned.  Nathan was watching him, waiting, and he realized what for.  He nodded hesitantly, still not sure it was what he wanted but he wasn’t sure how to say no.  Or if he wanted to.

            Fingers were at his ass and he tried to shift away a little, not enough to move, just enough to show that he still had some reservations about it.  Nathan leaned forward to kiss the inside of his knee, “Simon, relax.  It’s okay, I promise.  You trust me, don’t you?”

            No, he didn’t.  But he nodded because he wanted him to be happy, wanted to see that smile light up his face again.  Just as he hoped he was rewarded with a grin, and it was almost enough to keep him from tensing as fingers probed at him.  Nathan’s left hand was wrapped around his thigh, fingers rubbing soothingly, while two fingers pressed inside him.

            “Hurts.”  He clamped his mouth shut, wishing he hadn’t said the word, but he hadn’t expected the feeling.  Nathan glanced up at him, and the concern on his face went a long way to calming Simon’s nerves. 

            “Sorry.  Hold on.”  Soon it was just one finger pushing inside him, feeling around slowly, carefully, and even though it was still uncomfortable it didn’t hurt like it had before.  “Better?”

            He nodded, biting his lip, and watched Nathan’s face twisted in concentration.  After a few moments two fingers pressed in again and he shifted at the feeling, but it was better.  Nathan shot him another smirk, and then instead of rubbing his thigh Nathan’s left hand was around his cock, stroking him a few times, keeping him hard and on edge.

            While he stroked he barely noticed as two fingers become three, and though the stretch felt... odd, it wasn’t completely terrible.  The look of concentration was still there and Simon was going to ask him what exactly was so important but suddenly there was a new feeling.

            Deep inside him Nathan had brushed against something that made a shock of pleasure go through his entire body and he pressed back on the fingers, trying to get them to press against it again.  Going on pure instinct trying to chase that feeling.

            “Ah, got it.”

            The next couple thrusts of Nathan’s fingers hit the spot dead on and even after he stopped touching Simon’s cock he didn’t notice, head thrown back as he tried to force those fingers back in, back to that spot.  It took him a few seconds to realize that the fingers were gone and he wiggled his hips, lifting them up and trying to seek the touch again.

            “God, you’re beautiful.  Look at you just... you want me.”

            Simon nodded, words too far beyond him and Nathan trailed fingers down Simon’s thigh as his other hand stroked his own cock, “Tell me you love me.”

            Simon wasn’t sure what to say.  He didn’t love Nathan.  He didn’t think he loved Nathan.  He felt... he liked him sometimes.  He admired him, he felt... special when Nathan’s attention was on him.  Did he love him?  Was that what love was?

            “Simon, you don’t love me?”

            Nathan’s voice was hurt, disappointed and Simon searched his face, trying to make sure even now that he wasn’t being jerked around.  At a loss as to what to do he licked his lips and tried to make the hurt go away.

            “Yes, I love you.”

            The hurt was swept away like it had never been there and Nathan grabbed his thigh, pushing his knee further back as his other hand lined his cock up with Simon.  “I’ll go real easy, tell me if it hurts, okay?”

            Simon nodded and then something big and thick was pressing at his ass and he was scared, his whole body tensing up.  Nathan made a scolding sound, “You need to relax or this won’t work.  I won’t hurt you, I told you that.”

            “Sorry.”  He choked on the word and tried to relax his body, not sure he was doing all that great of a job of it.  He was trying though and Nathan pressed forward again.  It felt like too much, like there was no way anything that big would ever fit and he wanted to tell him to stop, that they could do something else.  Or that they could forget all this ever happened, but Nathan wasn’t stopping.

            That thickness continued to push in, stretch him in a way that was uncomfortable bordering on painful, and he reached up to grab Nathan’s shoulders, just for something to hold on to.  It didn’t feel good, and he knew his cock was going soft, embarrassed that he wasn’t doing this right.  It felt like Nathan’s cock would go on forever until it killed him but then Nathan was pressed tight against him, his balls resting on his ass and Simon couldn’t hold in the sob.

            “Shh, it’s okay.  It will get better.  It’s okay, love.”

            Nathan didn’t move his hips, letting Simon adjust, but he did touch Simon’s chest, tracing down to his stomach, soft fingers stroking gently, trying to calm him like a wild horse.  Then the hand was on his cock, deft fingers bringing him back to full hardness.  Eventually the pain eased and it was just kind of uncomfortable and he shifted his hips.

            “Are you okay for me to move?”

            “I... I think so.” 

            Nathan did, pulling back at the same slow steady pace, eyes on Simon’s face to make sure that he was okay and having so much full attention on him was almost too much.  He wanted to look away but Nathan met his eyes and he couldn’t.

            When Nathan was all the way out he pushed back in, a little faster.  Each time he pulled out and pushed in it got a little better and he hadn’t even realized that Nathan was shifting his weight, shifting the direction of his thrust until the next time he pressed in and hit that spot inside.

            “Ah, ah!”  His hands scrambled against Nathan’s skin and the next thrust in he pushed back against him, until they were moving in a quick rhythm, the pain forgotten.

            “I’m not gonna last.”  Nathan muttered it against the side of his neck like he was embarrassed, but Simon was just glad that he wasn’t the only one that wouldn’t be able to go for long. 

            “Me either.”  In fact, Simon was certain if Nathan so much as touched his dick he would cum.  In a sloppy attempt to reassure Nathan he tried kissing him again, and it seemed easier this time to slide his tongue against the other’s and on a whim he bit down on Nathan’s lip, just hard enough for him to feel it.

            He didn’t expect Nathan to gasp and grab his hips hard enough to bruise as his hips suddenly pistoned hard, Nathan screaming as he came.

            The quick jabs to that place inside was enough to pull Simon over and he tried to smother his sounds, whimpering into Nathan’s shoulder, gasping as Nathan’s last few thrusts were almost too much, overly sensitive after his orgasm. 

            Nathan leaned heavily on him for a moment before he pulled back, looking embarrassed.  “Oh gees, I’m sorry Simon.”  He reached between them, making a surprised sound when he found that Simon had already cum, but then his face lit up.  “Just me fucking you was enough to do it for you?”  Nathan’s fingers slid over him a few times, making him shiver.

            Simon didn’t answer, too caught up in the feeling, and was saved from having to come up with something to say as Nathan pulled out.  There was a twinge of pain at the movement and he whimpered, but also it made him feel empty, and he had to shove down the urge to pull him closer again.  Nathan didn’t go far though, he dropped to the side of the mattress next to Simon and pulled him close.

            Simon was beyond awkward, he’d never laid next to another person like this before and he finally settled his head on Nathan’s shoulder with one arm across his chest.  After some prodding he moved one leg across Nathan’s hips, but felt like he was clinging too much.  That he was being too needy.

            “My god, can you stop thinking for two bloody seconds?”

            Nathan’s hands were sliding up and down his back, and it was making him sleepy.  Having sex for the first time... that thought suddenly stuck with him and he realized that he had sex for the first time.  Not what he expected... not what he had pictured but he had.  He wasn’t a virgin anymore.  He wasn’t sure why he needed to tell Nathan that but he did, talking without looking at him in case Nathan made a joke.  “I’m not a virgin anymore.”

            “That’s right.”  Nathan grabbed his face and lifted it until he could see him, “I love you.  Thank you for letting me be your first.”

            Simon didn’t think saying you’re welcome was the right answer to that so instead he dropped his head back to Nathan’s shoulder, and listened to his heartbeat.  Is this what you did after sex?   He was pretty sure it was, that you were supposed to stay close, to cuddle.  After a few moments the part of his brain that constantly told him that nobody wanted him, that nobody even liked him wouldn’t stay quiet, “Do you want me to go?”

            “Why?”

            “Well if I stay... I might fall asleep.”

            “So stay here with me, go to sleep.  It will be a short trip to community in the morning.”  The smile was in his voice, and so was sleep, and Simon knew that Nathan was probably going to be out before long.

            “What about in the morning.  What if they... what if one of them sees me here?”  
            “Embarrassed to be seen with me?”

            “No.  I just... you don’t want them to know that...”  It was true.  He wasn’t worried about what people thought of him, but he was sure they would think that Nathan could do better.  He couldn’t shake the ache in his chest that Nathan might regret what they did.

            “Let them know.  I love you Simon, I told you that.  I don’t care who knows.  I hope every wanker on the planet knows.  Now come on.”  He tugged him down until Simon was pressed against him again and then pulled a blanket around them.  “Go to sleep.  We’ll get up early, take a shower, and then ... well.  You haven’t lived until you’ve had sex in a shower.”

            Simon wasn’t sure he believed that but he nodded dutifully and closed his eyes, willing his mind to be quiet and for sleep to find him.  He would deal with the rest tomorrow.  Like... that he had slept with a guy, and that he wasn’t sure if he had feelings for guys and... under him the steady breathing told him that Nathan had fallen asleep and he forced his eyes to stay closed and his body to relax.  Let himself enjoy being close to someone after they had sex, and the rest could wait for morning.


	2. Chapter 2

            Simon woke up slowly, and realized a few things before his eyes even opened.  It didn’t feel like he was sleeping on his bed, and he was naked... he never slept naked.  It wasn’t until he registered that there was an arm across his chest that he really woke up though.

            His eyes flew open but he didn’t move, struggling to get his brain to catch up with what had happened.  It hit him all at once and he turned to look at Nathan, grateful that he was still asleep.  He didn’t know what time it was, and he glanced around, hoping that it was still early.  He couldn’t tell from where they were, but he had the feeling it was still early in the morning.

            As carefully as he could he wiggled his way out from under Nathan’s arm, careful not to wake him up.  Nathan was apparently a heavy sleeper as he didn’t even budge, and Simon looked around for his clothes.  He found his pants and his shirt, and finally pulled them on when he accepted that he couldn’t find his underwear. 

            The aftermath of what they had done last night was sticky on his thighs, and he wanted nothing more than to get to the showers and get cleaned up.  It was an easy way to occupy his mind, because... he wasn’t really ready to think about what they had done.  He had just stripped down and gotten into the shower when he heard footsteps, and he barely had time to wonder what he should do when Nathan stuck his head around the corner.

            He felt exposed under the spray of the water, nowhere to go and nothing to cover up with, but Nathan had an easy smile on his face.  “I thought you ran off.”

            Simon shook his head to show him that, no, he hadn’t run off.  Though if the thought had crossed his mind he might have.  Nathan held up what was in his hands, a few towels, some soap and bottles that must be shampoo.  “You’re probably going to need these, yea?”

            Slowly he nodded, biting his lip, and if Nathan found anything about his silence odd he didn’t say it.  He dropped the stuff on the bench and tossed the soap to Simon.  He didn’t catch it, of course, and he scrambled to pick it up off the floor.  When he stood up he caught Nathan looking at him, and thought he might have been looking at his ass, but that was just too much and he turned towards the water with a blush moving down his face and neck.

            “You know, your blush goes all the way down your body.”

            Simon closed his eyes, overwhelmed, but Nathan only turned his own shower on and started to hum something under his breath, not paying much attention to Simon at all.  He watched him for a few moments to make sure that he wasn’t scrutinizing him and quickly washed up with the soap, feeling a bit more like himself as he rinsed it off.

            He turned to give it to Nathan and found the other boy right there, making him look away and take a few steps backwards, but Nathan just took the soap and handed him the shampoo before going back to his own.  After a few moments of silence Nathan spoke up, “You’re acting like I’m gonna bite.”

            Simon scrunched his face up, and shrugged his shoulders.  He was sure he was supposed to say something to that and struggled, “I...”

            “It’s okay.  I know you’re shy.  We can take it slow.”

            Simon was rather sure it was a little too late for that, taking it slow.  He nodded though to appease him, but he was completely caught up in his own head.  He still didn’t even know if he wanted to be with Nathan.  It had come about so suddenly, no warning at all like it just appeared out of nowhere... 

            His whole body jerked as he glanced at Nathan, he had a breathe glimpse of a tattoo on his shoulder that he didn’t think used to be there but then Nathan turned into the water and he couldn’t see it anymore.  Instead he got a full view of Nathan completely naked and after a quick glance to his face to see that his eyes were closed as he stood under the water Simon took a moment to look at him.

            He’d seen other boys naked, of course.  In school and... his mind came back around to what he was thinking.  How odd it was that Nathan’s feelings would suddenly change like that made him suspicious.  He thought maybe he would ask Kelly what she thought, though he would really have to struggle to make sure she didn’t read his thoughts.  His face turned red as he closed his eyes, the thought of Kelly seeing what him and Nathan had done was almost too much.  Not to mention that he was sure that she had feelings for Nathan, and he didn’t want to make her feel bad.

            He finished cleaning up and turned off the shower, grabbing a towel and dashing off before Nathan could stop him.  In the locker room he dried off quickly, yanking open his locker.  Like any good planner he kept a change of clothes in his locker, and he pulled them out jerkily, suddenly needing to be dressed before he saw Nathan again.  Actually, he would like to be gone before the other boy even came out of the shower. 

            There was a moment of guilt at that, but he heard the water stop and took off to the door, still pulling his shirt over his head.  He nearly ran into Curtis coming in to the locker room as he struggled to get the shirt over his head and covering him, and offered no explanation as he beeline for the door.

            He nearly burst out to the front entrance, his phone said he still had a half hour, he wasn’t sure why Curtis was so early, but he took off at a fast clip, needing to put some space between him and the community center.  He was looking at the ground, blindly going around the corner when he nearly barreled in to someone.

            “Sorry!”  He reached out to grab Kelly’s arm so she wouldn’t fall, but he should have known that she was already okay.

            Instantly she looked annoyed but when she saw who it was her face softened, “You alright Simon?”

            “Yes.”  He motioned the direction he had come and blushed and looked at the ground.

            Kelly tilted her head as she looked at him and he knew that she was trying to read him and he tried to think of anything, anything but what had happened.  It must have been working because she eased back a step, “You’re in a hurry.”

            “I was just...”  Words failed him, like usual, and instead he looked up at her.  Her face was kind, and he knew for a fact that she always looked at him like that.  He licked his lips and before he lost his nerve he spoke, “Nathan kissed me last night.”

            Okay, so that wasn’t the full truth but he wasn’t going to say all that to her, as it was just that sentence was enough to make her eyebrows go up.  “What?”

            “He kissed me.  We didn’t... we didn’t go to watch wrestling, we came back here and he kissed me.”

            She continued to look at him like he was crazy and leaned her shoulder against the wall, “He was taking the piss out of you.”

            “He...”  He chickened out from what he was going to say and said instead, “He put his tongue in my mouth.”  He waved his hands in front of him, “He... he wanted to take my pants off.”

            “What did you do?”

            “I...”  He meant to say that he left.  He did.  His mouth was opened to say it but his brain supplied the image of what he had done instead and he had a front row view as Kelly’s eyes widened, and she abruptly stood up straight.

            “You fucked him?”

            A whimper made its way out of Simon’s throat, upset and embarrassed and he took a step away from her, “No...”

            “I could see ya think it.”  He knew that she was going to be mad, that she was going to maybe be hurt because she liked Nathan and he didn’t expect the next words that came out of her mouth, “He’s gonna hurt you Simon.  You should know better than that.”

            “You’re... aren’t you mad?”

            “Mad?”  She eyed him, and then shrugged her shoulders, “I mean, I like him okay but I know blokes like him, and believe me, I wasn’t plannin’ on marryin’ him or anything like that.  Maybe a shag but...”  
            “I don’t know what to do.”

            “Do you... I didn’t know you liked boys.”

            “I don’t think I do.  I mean...”

            “You don’t know if ya wanna shag guys, but you and him...?”

            Simon swallowed hard and looked up at her, willing the words to be said in his head, the feelings that he was too shy to explain and he watched her until she nodded, “What are you going to do?”

            “He said he loves me.”

            There, a flash of something like hurt crossed her face but it was gone as soon as he saw it, “I don’t know what to tell you.  Want me to talk to him, see what he is doing?”

            Simon nodded, relieved to see Kelly smile back at him and when she started heading back towards the community center he followed her.  She headed towards the locker room, giving him a wink, and he hung back.  He really wanted to know what she would find out, and there was a twinge of guilt because he was sure that she was lying about not having feelings for Nathan, but he desperately needed someone to help him figure out what was going on.

 

\-----------------

 

            Kelly found Nathan sitting on the floor, leaning back against his locker, writing on a piece of paper.  “Hey!”  It came out rougher than she had intended too and his head came up to look at her.  Instead of explaining the tone she kicked out, catching him in the side and nearly knocking him over, which she would never admit but it helped soothe some of the anger she was feeling.

            “Quit kicking me!”

            “What did I tell you about messing around with Simon?”

            “I’m not!”  He held out the paper in his hands to her and the glance she took at it showed that it was a list of all the things he loved about Simon.

            She shook her head, “I saw what you did to him!”

            Nathan rocked to his feet and shrugged, “So I came on to him, my feelings for him are true and pure...”  There was a chuckle that was all Nathan and he shrugged again, “Well they are true anyways.  I love him.”

            She stared at him and glanced around, but didn’t see anyone else in the locker room and it was the only reason she even spoke the words, “Is this why we never got together?”

            Nathan gave her a sad smile and motioned at Simon’s locker.  “I love him, I want to be with him.  He completes me.”

            “That’s from Jerry McGuire.”

            “I know, I watched it 4 times last night.”

            This wasn’t what she had expected and she was at a bit of a loss as what to say, “So you’re gay then?”

            “Gay, straight, why do we got to label everything?”

            “Because if we don’t then nobody will know what is going on!”  She pulled in the hostility but took a couple of fast steps towards him, poking him in the chest, “If you hurt him...”

            “Why would I hurt him?  I love him... maybe he is what has been missing in my life.  Why did you think I was always so mean to him?”

That was actually an easy one and Kelly rolled her eyes, “Because you’re a wanker.”

“No, it’s because it’s much easier to humiliate, degrade and just generally shit all over someone instead of admit that you love them!”  Nathan got a dreamy look in his eyes and looked back down to the letter he was writing and after a few moments Kelly moved to her locker, getting dressed, but kept her eye on Nathan.  Something wasn’t right here but she wasn’t really sure what. 

           

            Most of the day was spent in an awkward dance between Simon and Nathan as Simon tried to avoid him and Nathan tried to give him space while at the same time totally and completely invading it.  He had to touch him to move past him, to get more paints, to pick up the trash, everything he did had the purpose of keeping him close to the other boy.

            Simon was too embarrassed to say much about it, aware of Kelly watching them closely with concern, but he didn’t know what else to do.  Nathan had told him that he would give him some space, that he knew being so close made him nervous, that it was one of Simon’s quirks, but he didn’t quite stay away either.

            It was a long day and Simon was exhausted.  He wasn’t used to having to deal with personal issues like this so much, for so long.  He got his stuff together in the locker room at the end of the day and didn’t realize that he was all alone until he felt someone directly behind him. 

            He turned quickly and startled at Nathan so close he was touching, to see Nathan standing there with no shirt on and just his pants hanging low on his hips and tried to press back against his locker.  In a panic he looked around, but it was just the two of them.

            “Don’t worry love, it’s just you and me.  No reason to be shy.”  Nathan held up a card in Simon’s face, so close it touched the tip of his nose, “This is for you.”

            “What’s this?” Out of habit Simon reached for it and took it, expecting Nathan to move backwards but he didn’t.  He actually pressed even farther forward until they were touching down their full bodies and Simon had to swallow back the jolt of lust that shot through him.

            “Simon, listen.  Read it, we can take things slower and when you’re ready for more, just let me know.  No pressure, I know I rushed you before but...I can wait for you if you want to.”

            Simone wasn’t sure what to say to that and looked down at the letter before he licked his lips, Nathan looked like he was still waiting for an answer so he timidly said, “Thanks?”

            A grin slid over Nathan’s face though, “It’s just so hard when you’re so cute, and I’m so horny and...”  He carefully ground his crotch against Simon’s until he felt him start to harden, “and there is only a few thin layers of cotton separating our genitals...”

            The look Nathan was giving him was suggestive and when Nathan’s hands came up to cup his face he didn’t try to move away.  “Unless you are ready...”

            The words trailed off and Simon looked up at him, wishing he had an answer.  He should have thought it all out before Nathan got this close.  Nathan’s hand was already sliding down the front of his pants though, and he wasn’t stopping him.  His head banged back against the locker as he moaned.  He wondered if all the time Nathan said he spent masturbating was real, and he thought maybe it was because his body reacted to the touch in a way he had never felt before.

            There was already pre cum and Nathan’s hand moved over him, slick with the pre cum, warm and tight and Simon tried to remember that anyone could walk in but he didn’t care.  He expected Nathan to stop when he was getting close but the speed picked up.  He spread his legs what he could in his pants, and when he started to whimper Nathan’s mouth was over his, tongue seeking entrance and smothering any sound he might be making.

            His hands grabbed at Nathan, and when a thumb swiped over the top of his cock he tried to pull away to tell him that he was going to cum if he didn’t stop, but Nathan’s other hand wrapped in his hair and kept him where he was, speeding up his hand.

            He couldn’t fight it so instead he let himself fall into the rhythm, bucking up into Nathan’s hand until it was too much.  He ripped is mouth away from Nathan’s to cry out when he came, hips bucking wildly, and for a blissful moment he wasn’t ashamed of the fact that he had come in his pants just from Nathan wanking him off.

            That settled in fast enough though, and he tried to duck his head but Nathan didn’t let him.  He pulled his hand from Simon’s pants, and Simon didn’t miss as he wiped the cum on his pants, and it was such a Nathan thing to do that he wondered if maybe this was all real.  “Don’t be shy, I like the sound you make when you cum.”

            Through his embarrassment Simon realized that Nathan was still hard, and though he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do, something kicked into gear as he realized he should return the favor.  “Do you want me to... can I?”

            He motioned at Nathan’s pants and Nathan grinned, reaching down to unbutton them and push them down his hips, letting his cock spring free to bounce off of his stomach.  He stroked himself a few times before he took a step back, putting a little bit more room between him and Simon.  Simon started to reach for him but he caught his hand.

            “No, I want you to do something different for me.  Will you do that?”

            He tilted his head, trying to figure out what he wanted.  Did he mean...?  He tried not to stutter over his words, “I don’t know if I can do... that.  I’m still sore...”

            “No, something else.  Come here.”  He tugged Simon forward off the locker and then gave a very clear, very direct shove down on his shoulder.

            Simon got it loud and clear and slid down to his knees, anxiety started to wrap around him as he looked at Nathan’s cock.  His own pants were starting to feel wet and sticky as the buzz of his orgasm wore off and he wasn’t sure he wanted to put Nathan’s dick in his mouth.

            “Come on Love, you know how good this feels.  Do this for me.”

            That was true, that one time with Alisha... with “not” Alisha had been... okay, well it had happened so fast he wasn’t even really sure that he remembered most of it, but it hadn’t been a bad feeling.

            So he nodded and leaned forward, one hand going up to wrap around Nathan’s cock like he had seen girls in porn do and then carefully licked at the head of his dick.  It didn’t taste as bad as he thought it would and slowly slid forward until the head was in his mouth and he sucked at it.

            Nathan’s hips thrust forward almost immediately and when his mouth hit his hand, he understood why girls put their hand there, even though it was still enough to make him gag.  He yanked his head back, glaring up at Nathan, who at least had the decency to look ashamed.  “Sorry, you just felt so good... I didn’t mean to.”  The words could pass as sincere so after a few more moments Simon tried again.

            It took a few times before he could move his mouth back and forth, tentatively sucking and shyly pressing his tongue against the cock when it was in his mouth.  He kept how far he was taking him shallow, not sure he could do anymore without gagging, but Nathan didn’t seem to mind if the constant stream of curses and moans above him were any indication. 

            Nathan’s hips were starting to stutter a little, though it was obvious he was doing his best not to shove them forward.  Finally one hand came to tangle in Simon’s hair and he was pulled down a little hard, his head forced to move a little faster.

            Though it was starting to hurt his jaw he didn’t complain, he just let Nathan direct what he was doing and hoped it would be done soon.  He was close, he was sure, the salty taste on his tongue was getting stronger.  Suddenly Nathan grabbed his hair with both hands and yanked him down hard enough to make him gag and held him there as he came.  Simon gagged and sputtered, cum filling his mouth and dribbling down his chin, and he couldn’t breathe. 

            When Nathan finally stopped coming he let go and Simon jerked his head back, though the angry words on his tongue died instantly when he saw Kelly standing frozen in the doorway, her mouth slack and a blush creeping up her face.  She must have come back for something and found them... When their eyes met it pushed her into action and she took off back out the door, leaving Simon flushed and embarrassed. 

            “That was so good.”  One of the hands that had held his head still was still stroking his hair, apparently oblivious to the fact that he had nearly choked Simon.

            Simon shoved the hand away and rocked to his feet, angry and embarrassed.  He felt used.  Nathan tried to touch his arm but he threw off the touch.

            “Simon, what’s wrong?”

            “Just... just leave me alone.”

            “Did I do something wrong?”

            “Besides nearly choking me with your co...”  He flushed hard and didn’t say the word, angry grabbing things from his locker and shoving them into his bag.

            “Hey.”  Nathan grabbed his arm and turned him so he could see him, pressing him back against the locker.  “Hey calm down.”

            As if it wasn’t even a second thought Nathan used the back of his hand to wipe across Simon’s mouth, wiping away the cum that was still there.  “Don’t touch me.”

            Simon didn’t give in as he threw Nathan’s hand away again and stomped out.  He stopped nearly to the door, so flustered he wasn’t even sure what he wanted to say.  “You don’t... you don’t love me.  You don’t make people you love feel... and Kelly saw us!”  He felt like he was close to tears so he didn’t say anything else, not that he knew what else he wanted to say.

            Instead he left, hurrying along as fast as he could as he headed for the exit, not looking forward to the walk home with his cum drying in his pants.  He was startled as he realized that Kelly wasn’t far and he flushed, trying to see how he could avoid her. 

            “Oi, Simon.”

            She hurried towards him and he wasn’t sure how to explain it, but it turned out he didn’t have to.  She didn’t ask about the sex, it was something else, “Do you know he has a tattoo with your name on it?”

            “What?”

            “A heart, on his shoulder with your name.  I saw it when...”  Even Kelly looked a little embarrassed, “Anyways, did you know that?”

            “No.”  When would Nathan have even gotten a tattoo?  He knew he had seen one in the shower but... he should have paid more attention.

            Kelly gave him a slight shove, “Go on, go home.  I’ll go ask Vince and see if he came back in after we left the other day.  It’s all just a bit...”

            “Odd?”  Simon provided the word, and he got that she meant more than just the fact that he suddenly had a Simon tattoo.

            “Yea.”

            There wasn’t anything else to say to that so they both when their separate ways.  It was a long quiet walk home for Simon, as he thought about Nathan, and tried to figure out what he felt.

 

 

            It had been a restless night, and Simon wasn’t looking forward to facing Nathan or Kelly when he arrived at the community center.  There was no sign of Nathan but when he headed into the locker room Kelly was there.  She was half naked and he was going to turn away but then he noticed the tattoo on her shoulder.  He moved closer, and there it was.  A heart on her shoulder with the name Vince in and suddenly he had an idea of what was going on.

            And with that a lead weight sunk into his stomach because if he was right... if this was some kind of power gone wrong then Nathan had been under the influence of it the whole time and he had...

            He shook his head and went to search for Nathan so they could get this figured out.

 

            Everything had gone so differently than Simon had thought it would.  They had gone to see Vince, and he had confirmed it was the tattoos and then... and then _he_ had been the one to save the day.  He was never the one to save the day. 

            As soon as Vince removed the tattoos Kelly was on him, kicking him and yelling at him but Simon only had eyes for Nathan.  Clearly Kelly remembered what had happened and that meant... Across the room Nathan’s eyes met his and they were completely and absolutely horrified.

            “Nathan...”

            At the sound of his name he seemed to come back to himself and scrambled to his feet, frantically looking around the room.  Kelly seemed to realize what exactly was going on and her eyes darted back and forth between the two of them, and Simon knew that his face showed how distraught he was. 

            “Come on guys.  Let’s go.” Kelly helped Curtis up and Nathan was the first one out of the door, and Simon waited until everyone else had been cleared out before he followed. He didn’t know what to say and the pitying looks that Kelly was sending him didn’t make him feel any better.  Shouldn’t she be angry with him?  Accusing him of taking advantage of Nathan?  Why was she still looking at him like she was afraid that he might break?

            Nathan broke away from them as soon as he could, and everyone seemed tired as they went their separate ways.  He knew he had to talk to Nathan... he had to apologize and maybe... he didn’t know what.  But he had to make him understand he never meant to take advantage of him.  And beyond that... beyond that a part of him felt a little heartbroken that it had all meant nothing and that the next time he talked to Nathan the best he could expect was for the other boy to be indifferent towards him if he wasn’t outright angry.

            When he got home he headed to his room, no one asked where he had been, they never did, and he lay on his bed staring at the ceiling.  It was probably a half hour later when he was still nowhere close to sleep that he heard something outside his window.  At first he thought it was his imagination but then he heard it again, it sounded like pebbles hitting his window.  He sat up and after a moment of considering moved to it, pulling aside the curtains.

            Nathan stood there with another hand of rocks that he looked about to throw, but when he saw Simon he dropped them and mouthed, “Let me in.”

            Obediently he unlocked the window and pushed it open, reaching out to help pull Nathan into his room.  It wasn’t until he was standing there that he realized exactly what he had done.  He had never wanted Nathan to be in his room, to see his stuff, it was too personal and that meant it would all be weapons for Nathan.  Of course... too personal had reached a whole different level with their relationship now.

            Before he could talk himself out of it words were spilling out of his mouth, “Nathan, I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to take advantage of you, I didn’t know the tattoo, and I never would have...”  Nathan was giving him a strange look and self-consciously he crossed his arms, “What?”

            “You think you took advantage of me?”

            Nathan had moved closer to him and Simon took a few steps back until his knees hit his bed and he sat on it, looking away.  “You had the tattoo... and I... we...”

            “I thought you were supposed to be the smart one.”  Nathan moved towards him and sat on the bed, but made no attempt to touch him.  “I was coming here tell you that I was sorry.”

            “For what?”

            “Simon.”  Nathan looked like this was the last conversation he wanted to have ever and he looked up at the ceiling, “The stuff we did... I wasn’t nice.  I pushed you... I manipulated you into doing things that you definitely didn’t want to do.”

            This wasn’t what he had expected and he tried to wrap his mind around the sudden change in what he thought would be said.  “The tattoo...”

            “Yea, I know.  It made me love you, but the things I said and did... I didn’t care that you didn’t want to.  I talked you into it knowing you didn’t want to.”

            Shame crawled up his spine when what Nathan was saying sunk in.  He knew that he was... he just wanted to have friends and maybe he had gone too far, but the feeling of Nathan being pleased with him, for some reason it made him want to cry.  “I wasn’t... I should have known better...”

            “Well yea, but only because you shouldn’t do something just because you want to be friends with someone.”  Nathan scuffed his foot, “I’m your friend, and that isn’t going to change.  It’s pretty clear now that you’d do anything ...”  He trailed off as he looked at Simon, probably taking in the hurt on his face, “You don’t have to.  I’m still your friend even if you don’t do everything I tell you to.”

            They sat there in awkward silence for a long time.  A few times Simon tried to talk, to ask the question that wouldn’t leave his head, but in the end he just couldn’t bring himself to.

            Just as he was going to tell Nathan that maybe he should go the other boy spoke up, “You said some things when I had the tattoo... I just wanted to know.  Do you really feel that way or were you just...”  He waved his hand in the air.

            Though Simon was sure what he was asking he played dumb, “What things?”

            Neither of them seemed willing to push it.  Nathan’s leg shifted until it touched Simon and they sat there with their legs touching until Nathan sighed.  “I got to go.  See you tomorrow weird kid.”

            Nathan was moving towards the window and all the questions that had been rattling around Simon’s head couldn’t be shoved down and he called out.  “Wait!”  Nathan turned to look at him and he took a deep breathe.  “I don’t know... I... I like spending time with you and I liked...ya know...”  His face felt so red that he was sure he was going to pass out.

            Nathan looked at him for a long time and then gave him a grin that was too sincere to be sarcastic and took a few quick steps forward, grabbing Simon’s face and pressing a quick kiss to his lips.  “Yea, I liked it too.”

            Nathan didn’t wait for him to respond, turning quickly and slipping out the window, leaving Simon alone in his room.  Nathan had said... Nathan kissed him, without tattoo.  Did that mean he liked him?  He lay down, unsure of where things with him and Nathan were going, if there was anything there... but he couldn’t deny that the thought of it left a smile on his face that was still there as he drifted off to sleep.


End file.
